It is raining today and I’m feeling thoughtful. I’ve been thinking about how I don’t want this blog to be only negative. I don’t want it to just be a whining and complaining tirade about unfaithful husbands. I need to remember the good things I’m learning and have learned. The spiritual strength I have received. The process of forgiveness. I guess what I really want this to be is a sort of story about my journey through all of the “darkness”. I want it to be a testimony of the power of the Savior in our lives and what a great gift the Holy Ghost and personal revelation can be.
I have found writing the other night to be a relief. There seems to have been something about putting my feelings down on paper that is like a purging of bad stuff. I was trying to think of something literary or poetic to make an analogy. Mostly I came up with gross, scarey stuff. 🙂 It’s kind of like when you wash your hands. (I hate having dirty hands). They are dirty and yucky and you just don’t feel right when you have filthy hands. Then you wash them and they are clean and it is a relief and comfort to have clean hands again. That’s what it was like to write the other night. It has felt like some of these bad feelings I have had hanging around in my head and my heart went down the drain. Not that everything is clean and perfect and right again. I think there are still many “washings” to do before I may feel that way again. But I did feel better. More right with myself. More peaceful. So, whether anyone reads this blog ever or not. It seems I need to do this for myself. It seems the Lord was right when I felt the prompting the other day that it would help me and be good for me to write about it.